FIRST MOTHER'S DAY

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I actually wrote something Mothers day after Zach had gone to bed, only to lose it when I forgot to save it..uugghhh. Anyway, I will try it again. I had a wonderful Mother's Day. The last 2 Mother's Days had been extremely hard for me, especially last year as Vietnam adoptions were coming to a halt. I had actually found out around last Mother's Day that the little girl I had been waiting for almost 3 years for would not come to be. At that time,I was number 8 on the list for a little girl and was told I would not receive a referral in time before the shutdown on Sept 1, 2008. I was devastated. I then had to decide if I wanted to be a mother to a little girl, or if I just wanted to be a mom. Of course the answer is obvious from the picture above and I am the mother to the most wonderful amazing little boy anyone could ever hope for. I truly cannot imagine life without my little guy. My little guy got me the most amazing Mother's Day present(with the help of his Grammie, Aunt Steph, Aunt Teri and Uncle Scott-thank you all). He gave me a beautiful ring with his birthstone in the middle and pink sapphires on the side. It is truly beautiful and I will always have something very special to remember my first Mother's Day. Of course Zach is the most precious Mother's Day gift ever and as I have said before, this little boy will never be taken for granted. Of course the day could not pass without thinking of Zach's birth mother(Nguyen Thi Qui). I actually think of her quite often and I want more than anything for her to know how very much Zach is loved and that he is happy and well cared for. I know she truly loves him and I will always be thankful to her for giving Zach the gift of life, probably knowing all along that another woman would be raising her child. When Zach gets a little older and can understand, I want to include Zach's birth mother somehow in our Mother's Day celebration(planting a tree or flowers in her memory).

Zach is growing so fast. He is now walking all over the place. I am going to post a video hopefully soon for the relatives in Virginia. He finally gave up his bottles last week and we have moved on to the sippy cup..yeah-no more liners, haha. I thought he would never give up those bottles . Since Zach is now walking, he now has to go to another room at Church next week for walkers.I have to admit I am a little nervous about this. He was just really getting use to where he was. Zach had a very rough start and I am hoping we are not going to have to start over again when he goes to a new room. Please everyone say a prayer for him for next Sunday. When I went to pick him up last Sunday I was told Zach was going around taking toys to any of the children that were crying. I was so proud of him.

I posted some pics of the ring and other random pics. My sister and mom took pics of him getting the ring so I could see(thanks guys for doing that).

Helping Grammie with the laundry

Zach wearing his hand embroidered pjs from Vietnam

Sorry for the short post. Just wanted to post a few pics. It is already late and way past my bedtime. There is just never enough time anymore but I wouldn't want it any other way. Zach is growing so fast and learning new things everyday. We are experimenting with sign language and Zach does the sign for "more" and for some reason, he loves making the sign for "table" It is so cute. We went to the beach the other day to have lunch where my niece Katherine works at Hemingways on Pensacola Beach. I forgot it was spring break and oh my gosh it was so crowded. Anyway, after a very nice lunch, my mom and sister and I took Zach down to the sand at Quietwater beach and let him play. He hated for his feet to touch the sand but he didn't mind his hands being in the sand. He seemed to enjoy playing with his sand toys so I cant wait to take him back. Hopefully he will get use to the sand. It was the same with the water when I tried to put his feet in. He would hold his legs up. It was pretty funny. I was surprised because he loves his baths and the water in the tub. Last night was the first night Zach successfully stayed in his crib all night long. He is in his crib again tonight so hopefully it goes just as well. I had to get up couple times as he started fussing but went right back to sleep. Zach 's Aunt Teri and cousin Ashley from Virginia will be coming this week. We are so excited to see them. Zach's Aunt Teri went with me to Vietnam to get Zach so the two of them have a special bond. I know she and Ashley will be surprised at how much he has grown.

AWESOME DAY

Wow , I just reread the last post I made and what a difference between that Sunday and this Sunday. Zachary had a rough time in the nursery the last time we went. I checked him in nursery and stopped at the front desk for them to check my pager to make sure it worked. On my way into church, I heard someone call my name and it was a sweet lady who works with me at DCF. We use to be in the same unit years ago but she is in a totally different dept now. Anyway we sat together so that was nice. My pager never went off and when I went to the nursery to get him, he was happy and doing great. They told me that this was his best Sunday ever and that he played a lot. I was so happy. I know that next Sunday might be another story but this Sunday, he did great and I was so happy for him. My friend from work went back to the nursery with me to get him. She had seen Zach in December when I took him into work to visit and she could not believe how much he had grown. Anyway, after Church Zach and I went to Target while we waited to pick up his grammie from her church. It was my mom's 75th birthday Sunday and Zach wanted to get his grammie some of her favorite goodies to munch on while she takes care of him during the week. My sister and nieces and nephew came over and we ordered pizza and had a little party. Zach also got his first haircut and of course, I had to keep all the clippings. I had been putting off this first haircut for some reason. I guess I thought it would make him look alot older and I am not ready for that. Anyway, his grammie kept making comments about how long his hair was getting and when the checkout lady at Target told me Sunday what a beautiful little girl I had( even though he had on a boys shirt and boys pants), well, I finally relented and his Aunt Steph gave him a haircut . He did pretty well. My nieces kept him entertained so he would not move around too much and I took pics.
Saturday we went to Destin to see my mom's friends that she has known since high school. We had a great time and as we were walking around the boardwalk in Destin, a man dressed up as a pirate came and made Zach a turtle from a balloon(I'm glad the guy told us what he was making because we really had to use our imagination to see that it was a turtle, haha). Anyway, he stood by Zach stroller and we took pic. I posted it below. Zach was not too impressed.
I am so glad to see the time change. I have been waiting for this. After work, I grabbed Zach and strapped him the stroller and went walking around the neighborhood. He LOVES being outside and loves strolling around the neighborhood. I posted a few pics below. Will try to post more in few days. It has been pretty busy around here.

Zach and the Pirate(boardwalk in Destin)Zach is holding his turtle balloon



Mom, Uncle Henry and Betty K and Zach strolling on boardwalk in Destin



Zach checking out the pretty tulips his Aunt Steph bought for his grammie

Zach getting his first haircut


This is what Zach thought of getting his haircut

HARD DAY

Today was a pretty rough day for me and Zach. I left Zach in the nursery today at Church and he was fussy when I left but I thought he would be ok after I left. I had my pager so I knew if they needed me, I would be paged. I had been in Church for about an hour when my sister in laws niece Rachel who works in the nursery came to get me. Apparently the pager I had was put into the wrong sleeve so when they paged me, another person got the page and came for their child. When I went to get Zach, he was so distraught it was like he didnt even recognize me at first when I tried to hold him and comfort him. No matter what I did or said, he just kept screaming and arching himself backwards. Zachary has not had an easy time in the nursery but I was hoping that the more we went, the easier it would be for him. The only other time I have seen him as upset as he was this morning was the first night home from Vietnam. The lady who was holding him had taken his sweater off because he was sweating so much from being upset. I could not even get his sweater back on. I finally was able to get his jacket on and he started to settle down a little bit as we started to leave. I finally got him to the car and in his carseat and then when I got in the car, I started crying. I felt so helpless that I was unable to comfort him and kept questioning myself if I was doing the right thing by leaving him in the nursery. I have to keep reminding myself that it has only been a little over 3 months since he has left the orphanage. Does he associate the nursery and all the kids with the orphanage and the women in the nursery as nannies???? I wish I knew what he was thinking. I need Zach to know I am here for him when he needs me and I was so upset the pager didn't work. My poor brother called shortly after this happened and as soon as he asked about Zach, I lost it again. I felt really bad afterwards as the reason he called was to tell us they had to put their beloved dog Duke to sleep Friday. My sister in law had just wrote about Duke in her blog http://www.tuesdaywithteri.wordpress.com/ Duke was a wonderful part of the family and he will be missed. My brother assured me I was not messing Zach up by leaving him so I guess we will try it again next Sunday. I will make sure the pager works though before I leave. I feel really bad for the people who work in the nursery who also try to comfort Zach when he gets upset. The poor lady who was holding him when I got there said she started crying too she felt so bad for him. Thanks to everyone who helped him today. He fell fast asleep shortly after we left church. He was so worn out. When he woke up, he was his usual self. I just wish he would feel comfortable in the nursery and know I will be back for him in a little bit. Anyway, I will try to post some more pics in next couple days.

Well I have made it thru my 2nd week of work and I must admit things have gone a lot smoother than what I thought it would. Zach is doing great with his grammie . I miss him so much during the day but I take a 15 minute break in the morning and afternoon with him and also I see him during lunch. His little face just lights up when he sees me. It is so precious. I so look forward to my day off on Thursday and the weekends when I can spend all day with him. Yesterday my mom and I had a meeting with Rebuild Northwest Florida where we qualified to get free hurricane shutters and new garage door and roof straps, etc. Anyway, I thought we would basically be going to sign paperwork. We had Zachary with us and when we got there, found out we had to listen to presentation that would describe the work that would be done before we signed paperwork. Yikes. Zachary had already been out all day but he was sooo good. He just looked at the slide show, ate some cheerios and did great. When we were leaving, the director of the program told me that Zach was one of the best behaved children he had ever seen that had come there. Of course I was one proud momma . Well we finally made it back to Church and nursery last Sunday after being away for 3 weeks due to Zach being sick and now it looks like he is getting sick again. He had a temp today of 103 and finally got it down to 100 with some baby motrin. Looks like he is starting to get a runny nose again. Hopefully it does not turn into anything like it was the last time as he was one sick kiddo. I received an update from Children's Hope that there will be a delegation from Vietnam coming to the US in March or April to meet with representatives from Dept of State, Congressional members, agencies and also want to meet with families who have adopted from Vietnam to see how well the children are adjusting with their adoptive families. Vietnam is wanting to learn more about the Hague implementation and to move along the negotiation process toward a new MOU(Memorandum of Understanding). This is wonderful and encouraging news and hopefully Vietnam will open up again soon to adoptions with the US. There were so many children left behind after the shutdown and it is always in the back of my mind that Zach would be one of them if I had not had my official referral by Sept 1, 2008. I believe I received the "official" referral about a week before the shutdown. I thank God everyday for my son and that he is here with me.

Below is a video of Zach saying his first word bye bye.

TRAPPED

I started back to work this week. It is something I had been dreading for awhile now. The first day was pretty rough. There was alot of crying and feeling anxious but I made it. Zachary did great with his Grammie. I was so relieved. Although it is hard not being with him all the time, I am grateful I can still work from home and spend lunchtime with my little guy. Plus, when the work day ends, I just step into another room and I am with Zach for the rest of the evening. I am so grateful to my mom for wanting to keep Zachary so he does not have to go into daycare. I can never repay her for doing that. I think she actually has a great time with him during the day. My nephew Michael who just adores Zach(the feeling is mutual) came over on my first day back to work to help Grammie. He and Zach had a great time. Michael will make a great father one day. Zachary is feeling a lot better. He finally got rid of his cough and runny nose. We missed church again(3rd Sunday in a row) as Zach was still coughing some and his nose was running. I am afraid we will have to start from scratch again when it comes to getting use to the nursery.

As of now, we are not able to go anywhere in the car. I went to open the garage and it would not open. It looks like a cable snapped or something. I cannot even open it manually. We had some neighbors come look and they could not open it either. Zach had his first year checkup tomorrow morning which I have to cancel as cannot get the car out. Hopefully the garage door man can come early tomorrow so we can get out and do errands later. Otherwise, may have to call my sister to bring us some groceries(haha). Zachary finally is holding his bottle some and will now put food into his mouth himself with a little help. He is growing so fast. We are constantly having to rearrange things as his little arms seem to grow longer each day. What he couldn't reach one day, it seems he can reach the next. He is talking and babbling alot more and for the most part, is a very happy baby. I am so grateful for my son. I posted a couple pics of Zach and his cousin Michael.

Zach and Michael playing

All of a sudden I noticed it got quite. I peeked out of my office and this is what I found. So sweet. They wore each other out.

You are Your Mother's Son

Last night about 8:00 the doorbell rang and a package had been delivered to Zach from his Aunt Teri and Uncle Scott for his birthday(we lovingly joke Zach's Aunt Teri as it is very rare for a niece or nephew to get their birthday package before their birthday haha). Anyway, Zach pulled out a Little Tikes hammer and drill and yes, they make lots of noise-thanks Aunt Teri and Uncle Scott). I was always the good aunt who was considerate when I purchased birthday gifts for my nieces and nephews, trying not to get things that made too much noise or mess. I wish I had it to do all over again as Teri has already informed me his next present will be a craft project..can't wait..Anyway, the next thing I pulled out was something I will treasure forever and I am sure Zach will too. It was the most beautiful moving poem written by my sister in law Teri for Zach on his first birthday and with her permission I am posting it below. Needless to say, I was balling my eyes out when I called to thank her and I think I scared her a little as she told me I am never allowed to call crying when her nephew is sick(sorry Aunt Teri). Here is the poem(you might want to have some kleenex handy)

You are Your Mother's Son

Before your very being, before life had begun

In her heart she held the hope of you

You are your mother's son

When your world was far apart from hers, and so much to be done

She never tired as she sought you out

You are your mother's son

No matter what the problems were or trials to overcome

She knew she'd hold you close someday

You are your mother's son

As you waited for your mommy, at last the time did come

Nothing would keep her from getting to you

You are your mother's son

When at last you finally met her, did you know she was the one?

She was the mommy God made for you

You are your mother's son

Each day you learn together, discovering all the fun

She'll never tire of watching you

You are your mother's son

Today you stand, tomorrow you walk, eventually, you'll run

But never far from your mommy's heart

You are your mother's son

No matter where life take you and all that you'll become

In her heart she holds the hope of you

You are your mother's son

~Teri Miller

As I said before, Zach and I will treasure this gift always. I called my sister to read her the poem and only managed to get the first few lines out when I had to let my mom finish. I was so overcome with emotion. Thank you Teri. I love you so much as does Zach. On the homefront, Zach is feeling much better today. Still has slight fever but nothing like it was. I have a call in to the doctor just to ask about his cough he still has and congestion. I return to work on Feb 9 and am starting to feel really anxions about being away from him during the day although grateful I work from home and will be able to spend lunchtime and breaks with him. Below are a couple pics from today. As you can see, I am starting to get some smiles again which I greatly missed for those few days he was really sick.

playing peekaboo with mommy