ONE YEAR AGO TODAY......

One year ago today I received my referral for my beautiful son Zachary and saw his face for the very first time. I can't believe it has been a whole year already. Although I would receive many pictures of Zachary while I waited to get him, this is the picture that got me through the long wait as it was my very first glimpse of him. I can't believe how much he has changed since this picture. The time is going by way too fast. Sometimes I look at him and wonder how I ever lived my life without him. He is so precious to me and I truly thank God for him everyday. I love you so much Zachary. You are such a joy to me and the rest of the family.

Referral picture 6/23/08

Zachary and mommy 6/23/09

First Professional Haircut

Zachary did great getting his first professional haircut. He did not shed a single tear. He even allowed Yen to use the clippers which is the point I thought he would get upset. She had him touch everything before she used it on him which I think helped(the lollipop she gave him also helped I think, haha). Yen is also from Vietnam and has a very moving story of how she escaped and spent several months in the jungle. She eventually made it to a refugee camp where she spent several years before finally coming to the United States. She had known of my plans to adopt from the very beginning and had always said she wanted to cut the baby's hair . Well my sister gave Zach his first couple of haircuts as I just didnt think Zach would go for a stranger cutting his hair plus his Aunt Steph gives great haircuts. I went in to cut my hair and she still wanted to cut his hair so I thought we would give it a try. She refused to let me pay for his haircut and said she will always cut his hair for free.
She is going to return to Vietnam next year to visit her family. She is from Ho Chi Minh(the same place where Zach was born and lived for the first nine months of his life).





Notice the lollipop in his right hand.

BLESSING IN DISGUISE

If you happened to read my last post, I had mentioned that since Zachary was walking now, he was going to have to switch rooms at nursery at Church. Well his first time was the week before last in his new room(Zach missed last week due to a really bad cold). Anyway, he made it about halfway thru and they had to come get me(for some reason I have bad luck with pagers not working). So we tried it again this past Sunday. I went in to the room with him for a little bit and then left. I watched on the monitor outside and he was doing ok. About 15 minutes after the service started, the pastor brought a couple up on stage and announced they would be going to China next Saturday to adopt a 5 yr old boy. As soon as they showed the little boys picture on the monitor, my pager went off. I hurried to the nursery dept and I heard him before I even went into the hallway. His teacher had him out in the hall and he calmed down pretty quick when I took him. Anyway, the teacher was telling me he seems to be fine until other children start getting upset and crying and then he starts. I was telling his teacher(who I really like by the way) about Vietnam and the orphanage where Zachary lived and she asked me if I knew this particular couple who also just brought home a little boy about a month ago. I told her I would love to meet them and she said she would introduce me and then almost as soon as she said that, here they come down the hallway with their little boy. Adoptions ceased Sept 1, 2008 but because of something that happened with their referral which I will not go into on this blog, they were able to get another referral after the shutdown. I believe they said he was a year old or maybe a little over a year. Anyway, come to find out, their little boy also was from Ho Chi Minh(Go Vap Orphanage) . She and I were so excited. She said she thought she was the only one in this area to have adopted from Vietnam. I knew of only one other person who adopted a little girl about 6 years ago). Anyway, she was telling me about the adoption support group the church has that will start back up again after the summer and that there is family in Mobile, Al and family in Destin , Fl who also adopted little boys from Vietnam. They are all going to try to get together and she invited me to attend. I had always hoped I would meet someone else that lived nearby that maybe we could attend Tet festivities and other Vietnamese festivities. I would love to be able to start a Families with Children from Vietnam chapter in this area. She had said she had noticed Zach in the hallways but for some reason, thought he was from China. So Zach being upset and me having to come and get him actually turned out to be a blessing. It will take time, but Zach will eventually get use to his new classroom just like he did the other one. Zach had a checkup at the Dr and had to get 3 more shots-ouch. He seems to realize now when we go into the Dr office and hates to lay on the table. Anyway, the Dr said he was at 50th percentile for height on the US charts but only 10th percentile for weight on the US charts. She assured me that she was extremely pleased with his progress and reminded me that it was based on US charts. I have an Asian growth chart I need to find and chart it on that. He is running now and is starting to eat on his own with a fork(however tonight he found it was easier to ditch the fork and just use his fingers). He just amazes me everyday at the changes in him. My little guy is growing up. I have to admit, it is a little sad at how fast it is happening.

We have been working with Zachary on sign language and signing thank you and please. Well sometimes he does it and sometimes just randomly goes around signing it so we weren't sure if he actually knew exactly what he was signing. Anyway, tonight he was sitting in his highchair and pointed to his puppy blankie on the table. I handed it to him and he gave his puppy a big squeeze and then looked at me with the cutest smile and signed "thank you". I sure do love this little guy.

Zach and Aunt Steph Zach loves being outside. He loves his

water and sand tables.

Zach and cousin Melissa taking a snooze

FIRST MOTHER'S DAY

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I actually wrote something Mothers day after Zach had gone to bed, only to lose it when I forgot to save it..uugghhh. Anyway, I will try it again. I had a wonderful Mother's Day. The last 2 Mother's Days had been extremely hard for me, especially last year as Vietnam adoptions were coming to a halt. I had actually found out around last Mother's Day that the little girl I had been waiting for almost 3 years for would not come to be. At that time,I was number 8 on the list for a little girl and was told I would not receive a referral in time before the shutdown on Sept 1, 2008. I was devastated. I then had to decide if I wanted to be a mother to a little girl, or if I just wanted to be a mom. Of course the answer is obvious from the picture above and I am the mother to the most wonderful amazing little boy anyone could ever hope for. I truly cannot imagine life without my little guy. My little guy got me the most amazing Mother's Day present(with the help of his Grammie, Aunt Steph, Aunt Teri and Uncle Scott-thank you all). He gave me a beautiful ring with his birthstone in the middle and pink sapphires on the side. It is truly beautiful and I will always have something very special to remember my first Mother's Day. Of course Zach is the most precious Mother's Day gift ever and as I have said before, this little boy will never be taken for granted. Of course the day could not pass without thinking of Zach's birth mother(Nguyen Thi Qui). I actually think of her quite often and I want more than anything for her to know how very much Zach is loved and that he is happy and well cared for. I know she truly loves him and I will always be thankful to her for giving Zach the gift of life, probably knowing all along that another woman would be raising her child. When Zach gets a little older and can understand, I want to include Zach's birth mother somehow in our Mother's Day celebration(planting a tree or flowers in her memory).

Zach is growing so fast. He is now walking all over the place. I am going to post a video hopefully soon for the relatives in Virginia. He finally gave up his bottles last week and we have moved on to the sippy cup..yeah-no more liners, haha. I thought he would never give up those bottles . Since Zach is now walking, he now has to go to another room at Church next week for walkers.I have to admit I am a little nervous about this. He was just really getting use to where he was. Zach had a very rough start and I am hoping we are not going to have to start over again when he goes to a new room. Please everyone say a prayer for him for next Sunday. When I went to pick him up last Sunday I was told Zach was going around taking toys to any of the children that were crying. I was so proud of him.

I posted some pics of the ring and other random pics. My sister and mom took pics of him getting the ring so I could see(thanks guys for doing that).

Helping Grammie with the laundry

Zach wearing his hand embroidered pjs from Vietnam

Sorry for the short post. Just wanted to post a few pics. It is already late and way past my bedtime. There is just never enough time anymore but I wouldn't want it any other way. Zach is growing so fast and learning new things everyday. We are experimenting with sign language and Zach does the sign for "more" and for some reason, he loves making the sign for "table" It is so cute. We went to the beach the other day to have lunch where my niece Katherine works at Hemingways on Pensacola Beach. I forgot it was spring break and oh my gosh it was so crowded. Anyway, after a very nice lunch, my mom and sister and I took Zach down to the sand at Quietwater beach and let him play. He hated for his feet to touch the sand but he didn't mind his hands being in the sand. He seemed to enjoy playing with his sand toys so I cant wait to take him back. Hopefully he will get use to the sand. It was the same with the water when I tried to put his feet in. He would hold his legs up. It was pretty funny. I was surprised because he loves his baths and the water in the tub. Last night was the first night Zach successfully stayed in his crib all night long. He is in his crib again tonight so hopefully it goes just as well. I had to get up couple times as he started fussing but went right back to sleep. Zach 's Aunt Teri and cousin Ashley from Virginia will be coming this week. We are so excited to see them. Zach's Aunt Teri went with me to Vietnam to get Zach so the two of them have a special bond. I know she and Ashley will be surprised at how much he has grown.

AWESOME DAY

Wow , I just reread the last post I made and what a difference between that Sunday and this Sunday. Zachary had a rough time in the nursery the last time we went. I checked him in nursery and stopped at the front desk for them to check my pager to make sure it worked. On my way into church, I heard someone call my name and it was a sweet lady who works with me at DCF. We use to be in the same unit years ago but she is in a totally different dept now. Anyway we sat together so that was nice. My pager never went off and when I went to the nursery to get him, he was happy and doing great. They told me that this was his best Sunday ever and that he played a lot. I was so happy. I know that next Sunday might be another story but this Sunday, he did great and I was so happy for him. My friend from work went back to the nursery with me to get him. She had seen Zach in December when I took him into work to visit and she could not believe how much he had grown. Anyway, after Church Zach and I went to Target while we waited to pick up his grammie from her church. It was my mom's 75th birthday Sunday and Zach wanted to get his grammie some of her favorite goodies to munch on while she takes care of him during the week. My sister and nieces and nephew came over and we ordered pizza and had a little party. Zach also got his first haircut and of course, I had to keep all the clippings. I had been putting off this first haircut for some reason. I guess I thought it would make him look alot older and I am not ready for that. Anyway, his grammie kept making comments about how long his hair was getting and when the checkout lady at Target told me Sunday what a beautiful little girl I had( even though he had on a boys shirt and boys pants), well, I finally relented and his Aunt Steph gave him a haircut . He did pretty well. My nieces kept him entertained so he would not move around too much and I took pics.
Saturday we went to Destin to see my mom's friends that she has known since high school. We had a great time and as we were walking around the boardwalk in Destin, a man dressed up as a pirate came and made Zach a turtle from a balloon(I'm glad the guy told us what he was making because we really had to use our imagination to see that it was a turtle, haha). Anyway, he stood by Zach stroller and we took pic. I posted it below. Zach was not too impressed.
I am so glad to see the time change. I have been waiting for this. After work, I grabbed Zach and strapped him the stroller and went walking around the neighborhood. He LOVES being outside and loves strolling around the neighborhood. I posted a few pics below. Will try to post more in few days. It has been pretty busy around here.

Zach and the Pirate(boardwalk in Destin)Zach is holding his turtle balloon



Mom, Uncle Henry and Betty K and Zach strolling on boardwalk in Destin



Zach checking out the pretty tulips his Aunt Steph bought for his grammie

Zach getting his first haircut


This is what Zach thought of getting his haircut

HARD DAY

Today was a pretty rough day for me and Zach. I left Zach in the nursery today at Church and he was fussy when I left but I thought he would be ok after I left. I had my pager so I knew if they needed me, I would be paged. I had been in Church for about an hour when my sister in laws niece Rachel who works in the nursery came to get me. Apparently the pager I had was put into the wrong sleeve so when they paged me, another person got the page and came for their child. When I went to get Zach, he was so distraught it was like he didnt even recognize me at first when I tried to hold him and comfort him. No matter what I did or said, he just kept screaming and arching himself backwards. Zachary has not had an easy time in the nursery but I was hoping that the more we went, the easier it would be for him. The only other time I have seen him as upset as he was this morning was the first night home from Vietnam. The lady who was holding him had taken his sweater off because he was sweating so much from being upset. I could not even get his sweater back on. I finally was able to get his jacket on and he started to settle down a little bit as we started to leave. I finally got him to the car and in his carseat and then when I got in the car, I started crying. I felt so helpless that I was unable to comfort him and kept questioning myself if I was doing the right thing by leaving him in the nursery. I have to keep reminding myself that it has only been a little over 3 months since he has left the orphanage. Does he associate the nursery and all the kids with the orphanage and the women in the nursery as nannies???? I wish I knew what he was thinking. I need Zach to know I am here for him when he needs me and I was so upset the pager didn't work. My poor brother called shortly after this happened and as soon as he asked about Zach, I lost it again. I felt really bad afterwards as the reason he called was to tell us they had to put their beloved dog Duke to sleep Friday. My sister in law had just wrote about Duke in her blog http://www.tuesdaywithteri.wordpress.com/ Duke was a wonderful part of the family and he will be missed. My brother assured me I was not messing Zach up by leaving him so I guess we will try it again next Sunday. I will make sure the pager works though before I leave. I feel really bad for the people who work in the nursery who also try to comfort Zach when he gets upset. The poor lady who was holding him when I got there said she started crying too she felt so bad for him. Thanks to everyone who helped him today. He fell fast asleep shortly after we left church. He was so worn out. When he woke up, he was his usual self. I just wish he would feel comfortable in the nursery and know I will be back for him in a little bit. Anyway, I will try to post some more pics in next couple days.